ASYLUM - For all mankind

Progress, they say, is what we are undergoing. But are we? With the government intent on banning anything that remotely threatens to "affect the moral fibre of the country", that seems like a far-fetched promise.

Take Savita Bhabhi, for instance. The voluptuous lady who is better known for her sex-escapades than for being the typical demure housewife that TV shows would have us idolize. It helps to remember that she is a cartoon character, a figment of someone's imagination. And perhaps experiences!

So when the Indian government decided to ban her, she became famous. That's the way the world works. And then, she became a bigger phenomenon than ever. So the government has now un-banned her! And so everyone is scurrying to see what the fuss was all about!

And film-makers and ad people seem happiest! And we're sure so are "connoisseurs of erotica" in India. In other words, porn lovers! Welcome back, Bhabhi-ji!

Did you know interest rates remained unchanged yesterday? We'd missed that breaking news story yesterday, but have learned all about it (steady at 3.75%) after watching this spectacular clip from Seven News.

In a live cross to a Macquarie Bank talking head, a cube worker in the background is doing a little of the old Alt-Tab tango.

On one screen, the proverbial spreadsheet cloaking device. On the other, near-naked photos of hotties. He even shows some multitasking prowess by chatting with a colleague while having a browse.

The perfection in this clip is when he looks over his shoulder at the final moment, realising all too late that he just might have been caught on camera.

Watch and learn, bank workers. Remember, this could have been any one of you!

Nothing can be more terrifying for a doctor than seeing the dead corpse he is about to cut open for an autopsy wake up and say "Hello!" And that's exactly what happened to the doctors from a local hospital in the Jajpur district of Orissa.

Manas Deo, a native, was rushed to the hospital after a vehicle hit him near Baragadia village in Jajpur. The accident left him critically injured and when he was examined at the hospital, the doctor on duty declared him dead. So when the doctors in charge of autopsy started conducting Deo's post-mortem examination they were in for a nasty surprise. Just as they started the examination, Deo woke up and scared the poor guys to death.

After the weird incident, Deo was transferred to a hospital in Cuttack to undergo further treatment.

We wonder who was wronged here. The doctors or poor Deo. Incidentally, in some Indian languages, Deo means God. We wonder if he thinks so of himself now...

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

The human brain is only capable of maintaining 150 stable relationships.

In 1992, British anthropologist Robin Dunbar came up with 150, which was dubbed "Dunbar's Number," after studying social groupings throughout history. Now, with sites like Facebook pushing the number of declared friendships claimed by enthusiastic social media consumers into the thousands, Dunbar wanted to retest his formulation.

Defining "friends" as those you contact at least once a year, the Oxford professor analyzed Facebook traffic. "The interesting thing is that you can have 1,500 friends but when you actually look at traffic on sites, you see people maintain the same inner circle of around 150 people that we observe in the real world," Dunbar says.

We're glad he cleared that up, because it made us dizzy to think that some of our friends were juggling 1,327 other friendships. Now if someone could explain the mystery of the "poke" function ...

We apologize. Somehow we were not informed of this event ahead of time, so we could not (a) inform you of its awesomeness and (b) get there ourselves to enjoy the show.

Australia Day, celebrated the same day as our Republic Day, is celebrated in many ways. But some other lucky, lucky Aussie boys were watching women lathered in Vegemite (an Australian bread spread) wrestling in bikinis.

We wonder if there was a stealth sponsorship deal involved here, as Kraft could use all the positive press they can get their hands on when it comes to Australia's favourite yeast spread. Watching the girls go at it as the tangy aroma of Vegie fills the air would force positive thoughts down the throat and wipe away much of the ill will of that awful-other-idea-with-a-bad-name.

Click through for some high-quality snaps of the action from the fiesta.

It's not so much split the masses, as made the masses mad! The iPad is almost unanimously being barracked as a total letdown.

More amusing, though, is the amount of funny footage to hit the world wide Inter-ma-web within minutes of Steve Jobs demonstrating his latest clever-ma-jig.

Rather than let you scour the great Webpipes yourself (exhausting work, we assure you) we've gathered the pick of the lot right here for your eyeball enjoyment.

The English language is a tricky devil to wrap your head around sometimes. It's a hard language to learn for non-native speakers, and it has more irregularities than an old-folks home. With that in mind, we're here to help by giving you a handy guide for those nagging issues and confusing rules (or exceptions) that arise from time to time to help make sure you're using your language correctly.

Affect vs. Effect
What a silly pair of words. Will you be affected by the effect? Not if you're not sure what you're talking about. So here's a handy tip for remembering which is the verb and which is the noun:

Alcohol affects the erection effect.

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

New research suggests people have the potential to run at speeds of up to 40 miles per hour.

Previously it was believed that elite sprinters, who apply almost 1,000 lbs. of force with each stride, are pushing up against the limits of how much pressure their muscles and joints can bear. Not true, as a group of scientists recently discovered while conducting a treadmill test. Apparently, other movements -- such as hopping on one leg -- actually apply even more pressure on one's body.

"Our simple projections indicate that muscle contractile speeds that would allow for maximal or near-maximal forces would permit running speeds of 35 to 40 mph and conceivably faster," explained one of the researchers.

Usain Bolt tops out at almost 28 mph. Many adjectives have been used to describe the world's fastest man, but we're going to pin him with a new one: slacker.